112 days left....

The Boreing Stuff

So this is what I accomplished today:

-Shopped and I cooked a giant meal for the rest of the week. This week it's a veggie/chicken soup. I got some sharp knives too.

-Dropped my bike off for a tune-up

-Got a proper desk for my workstation at home. Rearranged my room to accomedate.

-Cleaned most of the apartment (still more to do)

Rob Q. and Andrew showed up aswell as Mike G. They tae soup and we watched 2 Episodes of Battlestar Galactica. I have 4 great serials now that I want to watch on DVD/TV:

-Battlestar Galactica
-24
-The Sheild
-Farscape

I can wait...i don't need to see them every week. The good part about this is that I will always have something to watch.

The Good Stuff


So...I have consolidated some ideas I have about women...perhaps just people in general.

I am (sadly) attracted to women who are prone to aversion, I think it's because i do this myself (avert problems). This next month is supposed to be about recouping; dropping bad habbits and recovering some oldsk00l insight I've forgotten along the way.

Aversion is a funny thing. Those of us who avoid our problems are accually bound to go through much more pain, suffering and hardship avoiding our problems rather than just dealing with them head on.

One morning in 2001 I was showering and figured this all out. I had this picture of someone I know smashing her thumb with a hammer by accident. Healing can be a painful process. Sometimes you have to clean out the dirty wound and this can be too much. Perhaps she was so embarrased/afraid/disgusted or something with that process that instead of just toughing it out and letting it heal she picked up the hammer and smashed all the other fingers too. This way at least she didn't have to look at the contrast. Aswell, this is a familiar pain. You learn to cope and when it starts to dull, fester, or scab up you just grab that hammer again and 'smash'. You do this enough times and it becomes a vicious patturn of aversion.

Here is another analogy:

Cyclic Habbits of Aversion Cloud Our Perception.

Imagine there is a bucket of water that is very slowly filling to the top...and for some reason you don't want it to spill over. At first it's easy to just ignore the rising water, but when it gets too close to the top you might start to panick! You could bail the water out fast with a cup...or even poke holes in the bucket. Practically; the right choice is to solve the problem at the source and stop the water flow. This would be much less effort than poking holes in a bucket. Aversion clouds our judgement.

Self sabotage...we all do it sometimes.

I'll continue this blog entry tommorow.